The Fate of Chief Illiniwek
In this era of ethnic genuflection and sniffy multiculturalists, the University of Illinois will eliminate Chief Illiniwek as the mascot slash cheerleader of the school’s basketball and football teams.
What will happen to the Chief when he is terminated? Where will he dance his dance? Will he become homeless like Chief Nock-A-Homa of the [...]
The Alternates to Alternative Transportation
The rising price of fossil fuels has incited researchers and think tanks to investigate not just alternative forms of transportation but alternates to alternative forms of transportation, like hitchhiking, trainhopping, carhopping, nuclear powered Segways, methane fueled roller blades, and solar powered out of body experiences like teleportation, and astral excursion.
Perplexed about the M-plex
Medical researchers tell us to stimulate our brains with brain teasers, puzzles and math problems to reduce the risk of dementia in our old age so I began exercising my brain by solving arithmetic problems, like dividing 400,21 by 67, with an electronic calculator.
Psychic Defecit Looming in Oak Park
The Historic Commission will allow the demolition of 256 Lake Street, which houses Dominque, the only palm-reading, tarot-card decoding psychic I know of working in Oak Park.
I find this very odd. You can’t get more historical than fortune telling. People have used divination for 4,000 years, back to Babylonian times. How can a historical [...]